Letter from Baldilocks to Iran

This is one hell of a letter. Read the whole thing...

Here's A Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares

This is a message from the Uppity Unburka'd Gun-Toting Grandmas of the Free World to Mr. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, so-called President of Iran and teller of poisonous, slithering lies:

Bite Us.

You loser. Your pansy excuse for a religion requires you to offer us a chance to submit and convert before you try to kill and enslave us. Offer noted for the record. Tragically for you, we have guns and bad attitudes. Our sons and grandsons have bigger guns and worse attitudes. Our military has the biggest guns and the worst attitudes this earth has ever seen.

I've got news, Mahmoud my boy. We're pretty committed to this democracy thing we've got going here. And none of us is all that excited about giving up our job, education, voting rights, intimate body parts or ability to feel the sun on more than just our eyebrows.

Nice job Baldilocks.